First thingâs first: Congratulations! Whether youâve come here because youâre newly engaged, have been for quite some time, or simply hope to be, we commend you on wanting to plan a wedding in the first place. While thereâs plenty to admire about solidifying your love, wedding planning can go from an overwhelmingly joyous occasion to straight up overwhelming if you arenât careful. The secret to a stress-free planning process? Knowing where to start.
Letâs go back to the beginning. By now, youâve told your parents, posted a ring selfie, insured said ring (very important), and took a well-deserved breather to soak in the excitement. Now what? Itâs time to put the icing on the cake and kick your core plans into action.
While thereâs no strict order to follow when it comes to planning a wedding, there are some immediate to-dos youâll want to check off before diving into the details. To get the lowdown on the first essential steps, we took our most pressing post-engagement questions to Manhattan-based wedding planner Lindsay Landman. Her personal wedding planning motto? Donât sweat the small stuff. âIf there’s one thing couples might regret, itâs not focusing on enjoying the engagement and instead focusing on napkin folds,â she says.
Ahead, the seasoned wedding pro outlines five essential planning steps newly engaged couples should tackle firstâno napkin folds included.
Step 1: Write out the guest list


âAs unsexy as it sounds, the absolute first thing anyone should do is put together their guest list,â says Landman. Why? Almost all the other decisions you and your partner will make about the big day will revolve around how many guests youâre willing to host.
âYou canât select a venue unless you know how many people you need to accommodate, and a budget number isnât really meaningful unless you know how far that money needs to go,â she adds.
Even if itâs just an initial approximationâthe people you think might comeâthatâs okay. The important part is to get your list, your partnerâs lists, and anyone else who has a say in the invites down on paper. Â
Step 2: Determine your big-picture budget


Assuming youâve spent countless hours watching Say Yes to the Dress, you probably know exactly how much youâre willing to spend on an outfit for the occasion. And while thatâs a great exercise in decision-making, this wonât be the first, second, or even fifth check youâll write once you start putting plans into motion.
âFirst, you want to think about your budget threshold: Whatâs the maximum amount of money you feel comfortable and capable of spending?â suggests Landman. âBreaking it down by how much you want to spend on photography or on a dress is not the way to go.â
Instead, Landman suggests getting comfortable with your big-picture number. Whatâs the number that makes you sweat? This is also the time to have conversations with anyone else who may be contributing to the wedding.
Pro tip: Your big-picture budget number should never be arbitrary. âDonât pick a number based on what you think a wedding should costâthatâs not relevant. It costs what it costs. What you think it should cost is often different than what youâre capable of spending,â shares Landman.
Step 3: Find your wedding planner (if you want one)


If you have your heart set on a professional planner, the sooner you find your go-to person, the more value youâll get out of every step of the process to come. Wait too long and you run the risk of overspending.
âOnce you start spending, sometimes itâs too late to reshift your priorities and make different choices,â she says. âIf a planner is in the cards, now is the timeâbefore youâve signed any contracts with anyone. That should be your first contract.â
Step 4: Nail down the venue


Now that youâve drawn up the guest list, have an idea of a budget, and a planner as your partner, itâs time to start scouting out venues. If youâre wondering, âWait, but I havenât even set a date yet,â thereâs a good reason you should tackle this task before marking the calendar.
âIf you have the ability to leave the date open until after youâve selected your venue, itâs much more likely that youâll have all the things that you want,â explains Landman. Committing yourself to a date before youâve landed on a ceremony or reception space can cut your venue choices in halfâor more. âWhen there could have been 20 venues at your disposal, now there are only three,â Landman adds.
As far as how far in advance you should seek out a venue, there are no hard-and-fast rules. In fact, Landman suggests it all comes down to geography.
âMore popular destinations in New England, for example, book up incredibly far in advanceâsometimes two years or moreâbecause there are so few of them and theyâre so sought-after,â shares Landman. âThat timeline will look different if youâre in a metropolitan area where there are a lot of venues at your disposal and you can have availability within six months to one year.â
As a general rule of thumb, Landman suggests that nine to 12 months is plenty of time to make good choices and get everything on your wish list without ever second-guessing yourself.
Step 5: Pick the date and your priorities


In the process of locking down your dream venue, weâll assume you were able to nail down your dream date. Now, youâre finally ready to start making plans for your plansâfiguring out whatâs on your must-have list and whatâs on your nice-to-have list.
âMake a priority list of all the different things that are really important to you for your wedding. This will help you build your planning timeline and budget expenditure,â explains Landman. âIf you really, really love stationary, you might want to make those choices first and spend more money on that. If videography is much lower on your list, you can save that decision for later. Even if you have fewer choices and less money to spend, youâll be okay with it.â
See more stories like this:Â
The Biggest Wedding Trend for 2019 Is Not What Youâd Expect
Newlyweds Agree: This Is the #1 Wedding Registry Regret
This Wedding Features Every Color in the Rainbow
Discussion