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Hail the ugly Christmas sweater. It is both a merry, earnest celebration of the season, and a subversive, Grinch-like critique of it—a nostalgic look at good times past, and a snarky commentary on the crass commercialization of the present. Beloved by rural Minnesota cocco-brewing soccer moms and Brooklyn nog-slamming art-school students in equal measure, it is all things to all holiday revelers.

Steering right into that skid this season are luxe crystal merchants Swarovski and the cantankerous knit designers Tipsy Elves who have teamed up for a one-of-a-kind variant on the ugly Christmas sweater that may be the most expensive of its kind ever.

Shining with the light of 24,274 crystals lovingly, painstakingly embroidered onto in a process that took 52 hours, the piece retails for $30,000 and comes with its own glass display frame because who would want to hide this in a sweater drawer? It has Santa riding a unicorn!

Purchase it here if you have the cash and, for all our sakes, ‘gram it if you do.