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If you’re just looking for a juicy tell-all of endless, alcohol-infused, raucous sexcapades, you’re going to be disappointed. Without setting off the #spoileralert, Schumer’s new book begins as more books should, with an open letter to her vagina. And sure, she’s had a one-night stand (only one one-night stand, it should be noted), which she recounts with just as much romance and a heck of a lot more feminism as any Disney princess movie. While many a personal essay and — bless Schumer’s unfiltered heart — annotated journal entry discusses her sex life, it’s not the defining, or even most memorable, characteristic of her book.

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